What I'm grateful for!

Happy Thanksgiving. Lauren is 8 months and 15 days old. She is amazing. Happy, healthy, beautiful. She is probably the best thing to every happen, not just in my life, but in the history of the world. She's passed out napping away right now, as I cook a turkey and watch Bones. She's got her first tooth really coming through now, I can see it, and she doesn't seem happy about that at all. Surprise surprise.

It's been a fun wild ride these last 8 months. It's nothing like I thought it would be, it's so much better. I have never been so happy or felt such wonderful love in my life. I really have some things to be thankful for this holiday season. <3

Today is the first day..

of the rest of your life. Blah. Today was my first day back to work and I am ready for it to be my last. I was supposed to go back next week, but I definitely ran out of money a little sooner that I expected, so I picked up a shift for today and one for tomorrow. And I am a little glad I did, because weekends are good money, but I did not enjoy being away from my girl all day.

I am planning on taking a vacation at the end of June beginning of July. With any luck I will be driving my Mary Kay car and the baby will be sleeping better so we can make the trip home, in two days. Stopping overnight definitely. I don't want to attempt a 16 hour drive straight with a 3.5 month old. Especially since we will still be nursing.

I really can't wait to get her home to meet my family. My parents and Grandma's especially. And this is just the perfect age for her all small and cute and cuddly. I wish my family could come out here, because that would be perfect.

Ah, and she fell asleep, and I have to work in the morning, so I should get some sleep with her. <3

One Month!!

So it's 105am and Lauren is officially one month old!! Doesn't it figure that I chose to pick up some shifts at work this weekend and she decides tonight is the night she won't sleep? All to make some extra cash to go get her pictures taken again next week.

So I have her in her swing and I am really praying that it works. Especially since my alarm is set to go off in less than 5 hours and then I have to go to work. And apparently drink my body weight in ice water and coffee. Lord help us all.

I decided to host a Scentsy party next week. That should be fun. I've never done anything like that, so I am pretty excited. If for nothing else than my apartment will smell very good for a night. Don't get me wrong, it never smells bad, just it will smell awesome thanks to all the melts the lady will have going.

I wish there was some kind of real secret to getting a baby to sleep through the night after the first month, when they don't need to feed every two hours anymore. Because I would pay some good money for that knowledge. And all she wants is attention and to be held, and I really think she needs to be broken of that. Her father never puts her down when he is here and I think that she is getting too used to it. Of course he can spend all his time here holding her, because he never cooks or cleans or does anything, since as he tells me all the time, he doesn't live here.

So, I think I am going to rant for a few minutes. Boys are stupid. And lucky me, my pseudo-boyfriend is a boy. I wasn't lucky enough to find a real man. Don't get me wrong, he is great with Lauren. He is absolutely in love with her, but he's no good with me these days. I wish I knew what his problem was, but he is just a completely different guy than who I fell in love with last year. I understand that guys change when a baby comes, so does a woman, but this is ridiculous. I just want him back. I just want to feel in love with him again, and I don't know how soon if ever that will happen again.

Well, so much for the swing to always be magic. Lauren is definitely still awake, eyes wide open, swinging awau. I am just grateful she isn't screaming anymore. I will be careful to not think that too hard or say it out loud because I don't want to jinx myself. With any luck she will be falling asleep shortly. She never really stays awake too long, and it's been over an hour, so here's to hoping.

The Best Investment I Have Ever Made!

.. was the time I spent convincing my friend to give me her Graco baby swing. :) Lauren loves this thing. She will just sit there for hours listening to the music and swinging back and forth. I genuinely wish my life was as easy as hers. Eat sleep poop repeat. I'm definitely jealous of my baby.

I can't believe I am going back to work in a week. I think it's actually a little sad. Don't get me wrong, I will definitely be happy to get out of the house and interact with people, but I am going to miss my little girl like crazy, and I will probably freak out being away from her so much in the beginning.

And once I go back to work, I can't even imagine how sleep deprived I will be. I'm extremely lucky she sleeps as much as she does, but everyone keeps telling me that it will change, and I really don't want it to change at all.

I get so caught up watching Lauren sleep, or wiggle, or just breath, that I lose all track of everything else. I have the hardest time believing I made her, from scratch. She is so amazing. She already has her favorite sleep outfit, and she loves music, mostly bad music from the 90's more than anything else. She definitely prefers 98 Degrees to Jason Derulo. I am so scared that I am going to be at work when she says her first word, or takes her first step. And I am definitely not ok with that. I am going to do everything in my power to be able to stay home with my little one.

And this is really the month to do it. I can see Mary Kay directorship in my very near future! Alright well, they tell you to sleep when the baby sleeps, so I should probably go crawl into bed. :)

Spring and Shoes!!

Today is the first really really beautiful day in St Louis. I love living in Dogtown, because I can open my doors and windows and smell all the restaurants and hear all the people going into the zoo. Occasions I hear drunken pub outbursts from Pat's. It's pretty amazing.

I am also extremely thrilled to have a reason to try on and play with all my new spring makeup that Mary Kay just released. I love spring colors. And I love having an entire bookcase full of makeup!! :) Granted, the more I use, the less I can sell.

Lauren is fast asleep in her bassinet. It's quite peaceful. I love the breaks like this when I get a moment to watch her breath. There is really nothing more amazing than a baby. I know, I turned sappy. Who saw that coming?

I'm going to regret this in an hour.

So, it's 1.35am and my daughter is fast asleep. My boyfriend just made hashbrowns and is asking if I want to go to walmart tomorrow after he gets home from work. Clearly the romance is still alive.

I really need to be sleeping. I tried to go to sleep, I really did, but I just couldn't. And when Lauren wakes up in about an hour because she is hungry or wet, I am really going to be miserable. I am sure I will be tired, and I am sure I will want to kick myself in the ass. Like I said, I am going to regret this.

I am having an amazing time at home with the baby. I do not want to go back to work in 11 days. Not at all. I can't even think about getting up at 5am and getting ready to go spend the day away from my baby. With all the people I was so glad to get away from those mere 5.5 weeks ago. But the savings account is decreasing, and we only have enough diapers and toilet paper for the next two weeks, so McGinty's here I come.

I don't really work at a place called McGinty's. That's just code. We are not allowed to talk about the company of employees on any social networking sites. Good rule. Too bad I stumbled across a clear violation a week or so ago. But I can't say anymore without violating the rules myself.

I went to an awesome amazing fun Mary Kay event last night at the Rennaissance. I love when our NSD's are here. They are so inspirational. And I got a new team member, my first, my bestie Kendra. Pretty pumped. And there are so many new things happening this quarter. I am loving all the new looks and the deals, and I can't wait to do all my model pictures!! I need to get a bunch more face models though, because I think I am going to do things a little crazy this season and try multiple looks on the same girl, and have a big variety of girls. :)

Well, these are my middle of the night ramblings. I am finally tired. I bet as soon as I crawl into bed, Lauren will wake up. We shall see. See you tomorrow world. :)

I really need a latte!

So my baby girl Lauren came on March 9. Two days late. I think it's because she is half Mexican and DEFINITELY takes after her father. :) She was 7lbs 3oz, 20in long and perfect.

We got her newborn pictures done when she was 19 days old. A little longer than I wanted to wait, but they came out so amazing I cannot be any more happy with them.

So now what we do is sleep eat and go to the bathroom, both of us. They were not kidding when they tell you to sleep when she sleeps, because when you want to sleep, she wants to yell at you for an hour! And I have a hard time falling asleep sometimes, I like to lie in bed and stare at her in her bassinet just breathing away.

We were able to go out of town this past weekend, her and I. And it was so nice. I had a Mary Kay Career Conference, and she was the bell of the ball. Everyone stopped to oggle her. I probably could have 100 new customers if everyone wasn't already a representative. I guess Lauren just needs to use her charm on everyone everywhere we go from now on, and I am going to milk it!

Being a new Mom is really amazing. There are no words to describe how in love with her I am. I really look forward to the ups and downs of the next 18 years. :)

Are we there yet?

Hi, hello, howdy! So here I am. Carolyn. 24. Somewhat single and about to have a baby girl. It's insane, complicated, nerve racking, scary, exciting, joyous, breathtaking and amazing.

I'm basically alone in this city, 1000 miles from all my friends and family. Away from everyone and everything I have really ever know. About to embark on this crazy adventure. My little one, Lauren, is due March 7th. That's right around the corner, and I am definitely looking to develop a baby blog support group. I'm really nervous, and although I know everything will probably be just fine, I can't help but freak out a little. :)